"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! That's right, just wait."

"I'm tired of the waiting game. "


It's true, really. Always waiting for something.. Something big, something important.. something that everything else relies on. 


What is the thing that is waited on the most? 


Money


Unfortunately, it happens to be the root of everything. From sustaining yourself with food and shelter, to any and all entertainment and other needs/wants that could possibly ever arise in your day to day life. Money... the one thing that makes or breaks who you are and where you stand in the society around you. Money... You pay one bill, acquire two more.. You put gas in your car, drive, empty the tank... fill it back up. You eat, you use toilet paper.. You bang your head against the wall waiting for the next check to come in so you can finally do all the things that you keep putting off, yet when the money comes in, your priorities change and you still put off that dentist appointment, justifying the reasoning for doing so by the much (more) needed clothes for your children or furniture to sit upon in your home. 


MONEY


I hate it.. I hate needing it. I hate using it. 


Yet, it solves pretty much every problem, ever. 


People who say money is not the solution.. money does not buy happiness.. They must not know what it really is to not have ANY money. 


If you haven't caught on by now... I am waiting for money. Money that has already been spent, which has not even reached my hands yet. Money that will pay bills in advance, to hopefully secure the place that myself and my family reside currently. I will buy things for my children that they have long needed. I will do nice things for my husband. I will help out friends. I will do all of this..  Some would ask me.. "What will you do for yourself"? 


I'm not sure if there is much to respond with. Guilt always overcomes me, and I never successfully buy anything for myself or do anything specifically for me. Do I want things? Yes.. I really, really would like a few things. Do I need them? Some of them, I do. Will I achieve this? Probably not... I should have been  Catholic. Ugh


In other news... everything else is going alright. I think. Health issues continuously pop up out of nowhere, which makes no sense to me or anyone else around, for that matter. Our refrigerator is broken. The repair man should show up today, but I seriously doubt he can snap his fingers and make the 30ish dollars worth of food come back that has spoiled in the past few days. (The freezer works well, by the way!). Meh..  It's always something, it seems. It's not okay to just want things to be.. you know, normal. Average. Simple. Without ruffles. 


I guess I sound grumpy.. I don't necessarily mean to feel that way. The puppy is looking at me with his huge eyes, tilted head.. floppy ears. He is adorable, and has been doing much better lately.. Although his obsession with eating cat litter and the contents mixed in with it is a little strange to me. I believe we are keeping him, however... Because he has earned that much. Our little kitten is slowly adapting to the new environment, and that is working out just swell for me. Our family... Adam, Lucy (that's me, duh), Melanie, Kyla, Sarge, and Mojo. Our other cat is still lurking about for now.. but I'm not sure she'll stay past the weekend.. Keep her around long enough to sleep next to me while Adam is gone to Mississippi, for what I am hoping to be the last time, to pick up more things. Good stuff.. Yes? Finally, this life. I wonder if it will last past December 21st. Too bad it's not optional one way or the other.